12/17/00

Well, I'm sure you all know that this past Wedensday, Al Gore conceded in the presidential election to George W. Bush. Well, Bush is our new president. This whole mess is over. Now, experts agree that Gore and his army are going to march on Washington. Gore's loyalists will send tanks and troops to take over the White House. We will have a dictatorship led by Gore. Most experts agree that this is a good thing, but some think it might have some sort of effect on the American public, as stupid as that may seem. Many people think that Gore might appoint a Trout as second in command. This seems like a fantastic move, as it is a commonly known fact that trout are spectacular in politics. Some people say that that the trout's natrual environment is water, but i strongly disagree. I think they are more at home in a place of authority. Anyhow, as we all know, KREEZMON is comming up this month, and many people are in the holiday spirit, decorating their house with lights, trees, and stockings, and much more. I suggest decorating your house with fire. That way, your house will light up the sky with joy, and the giant 45 foot tall polar bear could more easily locate your house. Let's keep in mind what this holiday is about though, Lasers. We all know how this great holiday was founded, but if you forgot, i will jog your memory. Once, a long time ago, there were lasers. The lasers needed to find a tree so they could complete their ultimate plan. An old carrot decided to help the lasers, and so he and the lasers went out into the forest to find a tree. After hours of searching, they came to a tree. The old carrot was exhausted, and needed to rest. The lasers though, needed to bring the tree back to the town, so the old carrot decided that he should help the lasers. So, he carried the tree back to the town. When they finally got there, the old carrot passed away. The lasers felt very bad, so they dedicated the super plan to the carrot's life, and how he gave his life for the good of the people. Then, on december 25 of that year, the lasers resurrected the old carrot out of sheer goodness of his heart. I know this is a heartwarming story, and that's why we celebrate this great holiday of doom. DENVER CHOCK!