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 BCCCCCCCCCCCCHH!!! EXPLOSIONS! Yeah, that’s right...EXPLOSIONS. The most unpredictable column on the net. You better watch your back, because this very column could be behind you about to give you the thrashing of your life. This column is explosive, so read on if you think you’ve got what it takes to defeat me. First off..........EXPLOSIONS!!! Yeah, you heard me, explosions. Let me spell it out Steve, E-X-P-L-O-S-I-O-N-S. That should clarify any misunderstandings. Now back to the explosions! Woah! Wooooaaahh!!! Blue and purple dragons! But like, these aren’t any normal dragons. They have like...machine guns, and shotguns, and light bulbs, and...and...and...EXPLOSIONS! They battle with only the mightiest of men, and if you defeat one, then you get to be king for a day and be injected with explosions. But it’s really hard to defeat them, because like, when they attack you, they’re really fast and they’re really big. Here’s a tip, aim for the gut, he’s soft their, and stay away from his right leg. Then maybe you can win the Kumete Tournament, after all, Chon-Li is a very strong man. Hey, don’t look now but...... MASTER OF DISGUISE. (The next section of the column will be written in binary code) 010101101 1101100001101011011011000011010 1100000010101 01010101111101101 11110110101101010 110100000000101011 0 1010101111010011110101010000101 1011010101010 1010 101 010101011010101010 110000011010111 0111101010101011 01101010100000010 1101 0101010100000000101 1011111 1101 0101010110011111010101010000001010 101011001101010010101101110 1100001101011011011000011 0101100000010 101010101011111011011111 01101 01101010 11010000000010101110000 101101101010110111101010101 011011010101000000101101010101010000000 0101101111111 010101010110011 1110101 01010000001010101011001 0101010111110110111110 11010010110110101 01010100101111010110110110 1010 101010010111101010110 1000000001010010101010100 000000101101111111010101010110011111 010101010000001010101011001101010 0101 01101110 1100001101011011011000 0110101100 0000101010101010111110110 1111101 10100101101101010101 01001011110101011010 00000001 01000011 01011000000101010101010 010000101 101101010110111101010101011 011010101010101 01010000000010 1 101111111010101 010110011111010101 010000001010101011001101 1111011011111011010010110 1101010101010 010111101010110100000 0001010000110101100000010 10101010101111101101 1111011010110101011010 00000001010 110101010111101001111 01010100001011011010 1011011110101010101 010101100 111110101010 1000000101010101 1001101010010101101111 01101001011011010 10101010010111. Ya know, I was thinking.......BANG! SHOTGUN JACKSON! That’s what my friend Pedro said to me this morning. As he babbled on to me, I picked up a chainsaw that was leaning up against the wall, turned it on and thrusted the spinning blade area into and through his head. He continued to jabber until I punched him in the stomach. He then fell to the floor and began foaming at the mouth. Then he sprung back up and began to dance the jig, while strange 1940’s band music played from no where. Well, I have to cut this time’s column short. Next time, the column will be even more explosive! Now, before I destroy you, I must say that you weren’t even a challenge for me. Your powers are weak, while my powers are mighty like the most powerful blender. YOU CAN NOT DEFEAT ME... |
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