Space Battle

By Kent Wicklander and Sean Kassai

The stars of Space Battle are Everyone's Favorite Beak Master, Pig, and the Space Gods. Everyone's Favorite Beak Master is a humble, middle-class shoemaker who lives with his brother. Pig is a ferocious beast used by the Space Gods to eliminate people they don't like. Victims will be tossed into the Space Colosseum to face Pig, and ultimately die. The Space Gods are impulsive and uneducated crab-egg hybrids who rule over all of space. The story takes place in a far-off galaxy, 100 years into the future.

Everyone's Favorite Beak Master is sitting in his shop, making shoes.

All of a sudden, his brother rushes in to tell him that he's been summoned to the space Colosseum to fight the ferocious pig because he has not paid the Space Gods the money that they demanded from him.

Beak Master then thinks back to how it all happened...

The Space Gods had become very excited over a new prized racing horse which they were going to bet on to become rich. One of the Space Gods ran into the house holding a picture of the world renowned horse...

This is what they bet on...

The Space Gods are at the race track rooting on their horse, praying for the win.

But of course the horse if half fish... so it immediately suffocates and dies. The Space Gods have lost all of their money...

With absolutely no money in their pockets, they demand that Everyone's Favorite Beak Master give them millions and millions of dollars. Or else, he'll have to fight Pig in the Colosseum of space. And that's how the whole thing began...

Beak Master begins to think of how terrible and monstrous Pig is...

This is pig...

Pig has one nostril and can shoot slime.... slime that can KILL... (from the nostril).

Every opponent Pig fights, he crushes. He's merciless.

Beak Master decides that it's time to face the music and begins his journey to the space battle platform where the space Colosseum is located, and where Pig is wating...

He arrives at the entrance of the Colosseum where the crowd is waiting...

The two stare each other down...

Everyone's Favorite Beak Master makes the first attack! He levels Pig with a massive punch!

One punishing blow is followed quickly by another in the form of a boot to the face!

Beak Master, sensing victory, gets into position and crushes Pig with the atomic leg drop made famous by Hulk Hogan...

Beak Master, in triumph, stamps his foot onto the back of the fallen Pig and strikes a pose! He's done it! He's defeated the undefeated Pig!

But what's this?! Pig awakes, sending Everyone's Favorite Beak Master to the ground!

Pig, then, launches himself nose first at Beak Master, tackling him.

Pig jumps high into the air, and lands with amazing accuracy onto Beak Master, crushing him.

Beak Master is slimed...

...and his head is eaten.

The Space Gods feel that justice has been served and are happy.

Beak Master's brother doesn't really care about any of this...

And if you didn't see earlier, Beak Master is dead.