Arbis Logan vs JFK
Arbis Logan may not be the most handsome bird in the world, but he’s got heart. Okay, so he may not technically have an actual heart, but he’s certainly full of slime. And that slime has heart.
Arbis straddles on the borderline between sentient and non-sentient being. he can move, but he lacks internal organs, including […]
Bernard the Vampire Scientist
Bernard is one of the rare breed of scientists that possesses the charisma to get people really excited about his projects, even if they really are ridiculous. As a matter of fact, he actually secured a $50,000 grant for a vampire research project.
If you are able to get over the fact that vampires are not […]
Ivan Cusack
My apologies for the delay, but I have been very busy writing a new Constitution for the United Arab Emirates that I had been commissioned to do by George Carlin. Anyway, that’s another story for another day, let’s get down to business.
Ivan Cusack is the father of the actors John and Joan Cusack. He was […]
Earth-Core Rodent-Decapitating Dentist
Many people have an irrational fear of dentists that is difficult to explain. I understand; when you walk into a dentist’s office, you just get a sinking feeling in your stomach. You feel threatened, but you see no reason to feel this way, so you try to push it out of your mind. It doesn’t […]
The Tractor Racing Icon
Devin was born with a very unusual quality for a bird – a lack of arms. Instead, he has what some refer to as “wings”, appendages with no fingers, but rather “feathers”, which are apparently used to “fly”. This made his victories in the tractor riding competitions that much more inspiring.
Most people don’t think much […]
Andre
Andre is a very special bouncer, employed by Ahmed at his exclusive Los Angeles club (an article on Ahmed can be found here: http://www.devastationstudios.com/blog/2007/09/10/ahmed-the-club-owner/). By special, I mean it in the same sense that the Special Olympics are special. Andre has always been a little slow. He started Kindergarten 2 years later than his peers, […]
Earl Ganglia
Earl Ganglia is a retired construction worker who spent most of his life stacking bricks on top of one another. He worked alone, not using any fancy equipment or cement, or working from a plan. He was a master improviser. Unfortunately, while his constructions were often considered to be masterpieces by himself, his clients were […]
Sturgis Filbourne
Sturgis Filbourne is a full-time singer/songwriter who spends most of his time performing publicly. His venue of choice is sidewalks and street corners. During performances, Filbourne likes to take requests from his audience, and therefore must memorize a vast library of popular classics. It goes without saying, that Filbourne is a talented singer. His knack […]
The Bird on the Mountain
You’ve almost finished scaling one of the highest mountains in the world. It has been a long and arduous journey, but once you reach the peak, you know it will have all been worthwhile. This trek was planned years in advance, and you had been going through rigorous training every day prior to the climb. […]
Solid Bird
It’s time for a special guest bird entry today – Germany will be inducting this next bird… Solid Bird.
October 14th 1991, the incident known as “Flock of chickens” took place in the south part, but not too far south portion of Abraham North Dakota. It was here that the “migrating feathers” took control of the […]
