Darby the Space-Man
Darby McLannahan is one of Ireland’s most cherished heroes. He was born after a drunken 3-way between Peter O’Toole and a couple of whores. No one knows who the mother was – Darby was born in an alley, and the birth was witnessed by only a few people, all of whom are now dead due […]
Sheriff versus Astronaut pt. 2
The new documents have finally been deciphered, and I have updates on the famed Sheriff versus Astronaut story (part 1 of which can be read here: http://www.devastationstudios.com/blog/2007/08/07/sheriff-versus-astronaut-pt-1/ )
First, some background on the astronaut. From the photo, it’s very clear that Marvin Clusterfield is a legitimate psychic. It’s true that a number of psychics are indeed […]
George Clooney’s Fish Children
George Clooney was hatched in 1793 from an ostrich egg in American Samoa. He was only the second man in American history to marry a goldfish. The goldfish, Petunia, was a Chinese college professor in the field of astrophysics (quite ahead of its time). Petunia met Clooney in one of her classes – Clooney was […]
Birdnard the Sharpshooter
This bird may not fit the traditional definition of a sharpshooter, but where he fails in precision, he more than makes up for in showmanship. You see, this bird is the host of the yearly wacky shooting festival in Ohio, where which a number of marble pigeons are arranged on a stage, and shot at […]
Clown Boss
Many years ago I worked at RYC Industrial Steel, a company designed to supply the raw materials to businesses looking to make heavy use of steel. Car companies, plane companies, construction companies, and so forth. In any event, it was a pretty good place to work; pay wasn’t bad, not too stressful, nice people. Well, […]
Arbis Logan vs JFK
Arbis Logan may not be the most handsome bird in the world, but he’s got heart. Okay, so he may not technically have an actual heart, but he’s certainly full of slime. And that slime has heart.
Arbis straddles on the borderline between sentient and non-sentient being. he can move, but he lacks internal organs, including […]
Bernard the Vampire Scientist
Bernard is one of the rare breed of scientists that possesses the charisma to get people really excited about his projects, even if they really are ridiculous. As a matter of fact, he actually secured a $50,000 grant for a vampire research project.
If you are able to get over the fact that vampires are not […]
Ivan Cusack
My apologies for the delay, but I have been very busy writing a new Constitution for the United Arab Emirates that I had been commissioned to do by George Carlin. Anyway, that’s another story for another day, let’s get down to business.
Ivan Cusack is the father of the actors John and Joan Cusack. He was […]
Earth-Core Rodent-Decapitating Dentist
Many people have an irrational fear of dentists that is difficult to explain. I understand; when you walk into a dentist’s office, you just get a sinking feeling in your stomach. You feel threatened, but you see no reason to feel this way, so you try to push it out of your mind. It doesn’t […]
The Tractor Racing Icon
Devin was born with a very unusual quality for a bird – a lack of arms. Instead, he has what some refer to as “wings”, appendages with no fingers, but rather “feathers”, which are apparently used to “fly”. This made his victories in the tractor riding competitions that much more inspiring.
Most people don’t think much […]
