The Great Serpent: Part 5
If you have not read part 1, part 2, part 3, or part 4, do so before reading part 5.
“No! You don’t have to do this!” Wanahanakukouha shouted at her husband as he ran down the stairs.
“Yes, I have to prove to everyone that I deserve this!” he yelled back without even turning around. Wanahanakukouha knew that he was going to the cellar to activate his armored robot exoskeleton. The Great Serpent, or rather the man in the serpent skin (“Paonanalobogar” as his wife knew him) was never a good robot exoskeleton “pilot”, but he certainly enjoyed using it to terrorize nearby citizens. He would enter a city and demand cotton candy and “Tom and Jerry” fanfiction. Most citizens had no way to meet these demands as they were all scavenging for food themselves, after the war. These citizens, of course, were those people deemed too weak to work in the mines, so they were left to fend for themselves. Many of them were eaten by the mutated lions that now roamed free throughout America, but the rest led lives as homeless scavengers.
If his demands were somehow met, he would simply eat cotton candy and read the fanfiction, but if, as was normally the case, they were NOT met, he would go on a rampage. His exoskeleton was armed to the teeth with all sorts of revolutionary weapons. It was equipped with cannons that sprayed lemon juice into the eyes of his foes. Its fingers were each machine gun barrels that launched rapid fire lemons. It even had several mortars attached to its back, so that it could bombard the enemy with giant, poisonous lemons from hell.
If anything was going to stop the unicorn-horn beast, it was his robot exoskeleton, but Wanahanakukouha didn’t want to see her husband in harm’s way again. Fortunately, she had won a pterodactyl in a poker game with a caveman and had trained it to carry her from place to place. She loaded her satchel with a 40 pound slice of cheese and boarded the pterodactyl to join her husband in combat.
Meanwhile, the unicorn-horn-magic-man continued his march up the hill towards the castle. The castle was shoddily constructed due to Paonanalobogar wanting to have a castle immediately for purposes of prestige. It was already starting to buckle under its own weight, and if the people from the mines (let alone the unicorn-horn-magic-man) ever got inside, it would likely collapse, killing everyone inside without any sort of battle being necessary. The castle-dwellers weren’t aware of the structural problems however, so they were simply looking over to see what would happen. They were particularly interested in the man on the unicorn-horn-magic-man’s shoulder, who seemed to be commanding the army.
“Xoc Xuthos” stood on the mammoth shoulder of his creation. He wore a long, dark robe concealing his slender frame. He was an old man, well into his 80s, and his left eye was completely blood red. He had a thin (but long) beard that was tied into a braid under his chin, but no hair on his scalp. He had a huge scar from the top of his head down to his lips, between his eyes and splitting his nose. He grinned, revealing that most of his teeth were missing, and the ones that remained were gold. Xuthos slowly got to his feet with the help of his wand (doubling as a walking stick), and he began a chant in Latin. The miners below followed suit, chanting methodically with him. He reached his hand into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a small egg. He clasped it in his hands and it began to glow.
- Kent Wicklander
[...] you have not read part 1 , part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, do so before reading part [...]