Courtney Cox’s Moonshine Obsession

Magmo Moonshine is one of the wealthiest men in the world thanks to his revolutionary innovation in the field of intoxicants: Moonshine. He invented this after years of research (which in this case consisted of Magmo pouring gallons of moonshine down the throats of women he picked up on the street). He knew he had perfected the product when the women stopped struggling after the first few gallons.

Obviously this invention made him millions of dollars which he used to get plastic surgery to make himself the most handsome man in the world. Obviously, this came true, and maintaining his beauty became his constant obsession. Unfortunately, after he was diagnosed with cancer and began undergoing chemotherapy, he lost some of his hair. This greatly depressed him because he placed a great value on his appearance, so he went to the best wig maker in the industry – Don King.

King made him the wig you see before you here. This post is the first revelation that this is in fact not his real hair. I have already been threatened by Magmo’s lawyers, but I am prepared to face the consequences in order to bring you this truth. In fact, I am expecting a lawsuit. I am being paid substantially by Magmo’s ex-wife Courtney Cox to bring this lawsuit upon myself to distract his lawyers from their divorce proceedings. The fact that he lost his hair is the reason for the divorce, and the hope is that now that the public knows that this is in fact a wig, everyone will feel betrayed (as Cox did) and public opinion will shift away from Moonshine and towards Cox.

- Kent Wicklander