The Space Matador
Every once in a while you hear about an asteroid just barely missing Earth, but you would be surprised to know how often this happens and you don’t hear about it. There are actually a great number of asteroids out there, and statistically speaking, odds are the Earth would be struck by one every few years. You can look at the pot-marked moon for proof of this. Why doesn’t this happen on Earth?
It’s common knowledge that when a person holds a red sheet in front of a bull, the bull will charge the cape. A skilled matador will be able to use this to his advantage, maneuvering the sheet in such a way as to guide the bull away from himself. It’s simple logic, then, to apply this concept to asteroids.
Enter Thurgent Bulo, the world’s greatest Matador.
Thurgent typically operates out of the International Space Station. When an asteroid is detected, he dons his space suit and wanders outside the station with his trusty red cape. He waves the cape out to his side to attract the asteroid. Once the asteroid sees the cape, it will charge. Being a skilled Matador, when the asteroid approaches, Thurgent is able to quickly flank the asteroid and stab it with his sword. At this point, typically the asteroid will scream and bleed, while the space-stadium erupts in applause.
- Kent Wicklander
Okay, that sounds like it makes all kinds of sense. But what are the odds of the blood making it throw the earths atmosphere and dripping on my roof?
Well, Thurgent is a real professional so that’s a pretty rare occurrence. He can generally kill the asteroid in the stadium before it gets into the earth’s atmosphere. Your risk of encountering asteroid blood is pretty slim, unless you are one of the many hired janitors to mop up the blood in the stadium after the event.
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