The Rosa Parks of Steroids
Harvoos takes steroids, and he’s not ashamed of it. Sure, it’s not “in” at the moment, and people who take them are getting fired left and right, but it’s every American’s right to take illegal drugs. As a matter of fact, Harvoos has sold steroids to 7 year olds, and he has no regrets. He’s a rebel, he stands up to “the man”; he’s essentially the Rosa Parks of Steroids.
As of right now, Harvoos isn’t exactly an athlete, but he’s looking at different options. He figures since he’s in such great shape, why not utilize that gift to become a sports superstar. He’s sent out his resume to both Major League Baseball and the NBA, so he assumes he’ll get responses from one or the other. The truthfulness of this is indisputable, really, because if you know anything about running a business you know that there are a few things that when you see them on a resume, you know that you’re sitting on a gold mine. Harvoos has several of these items – a reference from his sister, and a job history consisting of both working at a carnival AND delivering newspapers to his next door neighbor.
When he was told that steroids were illegal, he decided to up the ante and start using cocaine, LSD, ecstasy, and excess mustard on his hot dogs. He doesn’t even know what these drugs do, but he was told to not do them, so he’s taking on the system by using them. He’s not doing this for himself, he’s making a statement. It’s about human rights. If the system is broken, somebody needs to have the courage to stand up and be the one on the front lines. Somebody has to be willing to sacrifice for the cause. Harvoos is this man.
- Kent Wicklander
Glad to see I have a brother in (track-marked) arms! Oh, wait — I don’t do steroids, I was talking about those other things. (Mostly mustard.) CHEERS!
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At SlogBite you are encouraged to join all pertinent categories. Two obvious ones for you would be “Humor” & “Illustrations”.
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