Jürgen
- ‘Shar Kassai
The Toast
It was Lawrence’s biggest responsibility to date – organizing the G8 summit was a huge commitment and he intended to make the absolute most of it. Leaders from all around the world met at one place to discuss the fate of the world, and it was happening under his guidance. It was a lot of pressure, but he was confident that he had made all the necessary preparations to have a successful event. It was finally his chance to make a name for himself as an event organizer.
Unfortunately for Lawrence, he failed to really understand the purpose of the meeting. He got so wrapped up in his own aspirations that he nearly forgot about the leaders. It all started when Lawrence spoke in front of the hall of leaders to introduce himself and officially commence the summit.
“My fellow Americans, I want to welcome you to the most extreme summit this side of Mount Rushmore! That’s right boys and girls; I have put together the biggest and wildest celebration you have ever seen. I hope you enjoyed the brownies, ’cause they’ve got WEED in ‘em! Let’s get this party started!”
At this point, balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling while “Are you ready for this” blared over the loudspeakers. High school cheerleaders came running into the center of the room, single file, and made a human pyramid that Lawrence climbed to the top of, while holding a megaphone.
“We have a very special guest everybody, and that special guest is JESUS CHRIST!”
The lights shut off, and an extravagant laser show began, showcasing a variety of multicolored lasers. The booming voice of Charles Barkley, complete with an echo filter, came on over the loudspeakers. It bellowed “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!?”, triggering the aforementioned song, a strobe light, and a bearded, long haired man in a white robe to run out into the audience, high fiving summit attendees while sporting the biggest, cheesiest grin you’ve ever seen and a sash that read “Jesus 5000″.
Then the lights shut off for several seconds. When they came back on, there was a huge cake on every table in the room, and after several tense moments of silence, strippers popped up out of each and every one. It was at this point that the music cut off and Lawrence was grabbed by several men in suits and dragged off into a small, dirty room, leaving the leaders completely dumbfounded.
All of them that is, except for the Dalai Lama, who after several minutes entered the small room that Lawrence was being held in. He pulled out a pair of brass knuckles from a pocket in his robe, and slowly placed them on his right hand. Lawrence was puzzled.
“Hey dude, I was just trying to have a kickass party, what’s your deal?”
The Dalai Lama spoke. “I am the best event organizer in the world, and I won’t have you stealing my thunder. I will claim these ideas as my own, and there is nothing you can do about it.” It was then that he struck Lawrence right in the nose with the brass knuckles, the impact forcing his nose to invert, stabbing his brain with his own nose and killing him.
- Kent Wicklander
Ok, USA
- ‘Shar Kassai
Jungle Man
- ‘Shar Kassai
