2002’s Coolest Teacher
This bird was voted “coolest teacher” by Claymore High School’s 2002 graduating class. A “gargoyle” instructor, this bird spent his time helping students learn about various gargoyles in various time periods by using analogies that his students could relate to, such as rap music and sawmill operation. It was these analogies that allowed this teacher, Kevin Whitmore, to become so cool. He was so cool, that he would wear sunglasses while teaching. A great deal of this coolness had to do with his incredible confidence which allowed him to see past the fact that his students frequently skipped his class, insulted him during lectures, and threw rotten eggs and meats at him during class. He knew that these were just manifestations of respect and admiration.
Unfortunately, the principal of the school did not see things his way. She informed Kevin that several of his students’ parents had approached her with complaints that their children were not interested in gargoyles, and felt that they were not particularly important to their education. The parents agreed with this, and many did not even know that gargoyle education was a required course at Claymore High School.
The principal decided that he needed to prove to her that gargoyle education was important, and that he was a valuable member of the faculty. Kevin was unsure of what to do to remedy this situation, but it occurred to him that graduation was coming up, and the “coolest teacher” award was going to be handed out during the ceremony. He knew he had to win this award.
The campaign was a difficult one. His primary opponent, “Magnum” Dan Lagoon, was beloved by all students, as he had told them that if he was to win the vote, they would all pass his class (which was required for graduation). Kevin needed an edge, so he did the only thing he knew how to do. One night he climbed up to a gothic cathedral in the city, and approached one of the gargoyles for a face-to-face discussion. The gargoyle promised that he would win the election, as long as Kevin would give him $6,000 to cover his outstanding gambling debts. The deal was made, and the election worked out in Kevin’s favor. Dan Lagoon, after losing, failed the entire 2002 “graduating” class.
Claymore’s 2007 High School reunion was held several weeks ago. It lasted 3 minutes.
- Kent Wicklander
Double Agents (Pensacola News Journal)…
Father and son authors W.E.B. Griffin and William Butterworth pen popular military series….
Good to know, High quality korean soundtack… good to know.
I want to shove him down and make fun of his sweater. Then sue him for looking annoying. Look at that finger.
You’re just a worthless Dan Lagoon lover you son of a bitch. You’re not cool at all!