Sheriff versus Astronaut pt. 1
This is a cowboy. This cowboy lived in the old west, where he was the sheriff of a small town. He routinely used a lasso to round up ne’er-do-wells and used his revolver to shoot horses. He hog tied dogs and chickens and left them in the road, so they could get run over by carriages. He jumped up and down on a trampoline. These compose the responsibilities of a sheriff back in those days.
In one instance he was contacted by a man from space via telephone, who needed some jobs done from him. This man, an astronaut, had left his sandwich out on a table in his back yard, exposed to the elements. He knew that this sandwich would not last long before becoming inedible. It was critical that the sheriff, in a timely fashion, loaded the sandwich into a slingshot and shot it into space, so as to be received by the astronaut, who would proceed to eat it.
Unfortunately, this proved to be a difficult task as the astronaut refused to give the exact location of the sandwich for “security reasons”, only specifying that it was in the eastern half of the United States. After two weeks it became obvious that the sheriff would be unable to locate the sandwich in time, and it was apparently obvious to the astronaut as well, who phoned the sheriff once again. This time he was furious at the sheriff’s incompetence, and vowed revenge. He said that one day he would return to earth and they would have a duel.
As of now, no one knows what became of him, but in the last few weeks ancient documents have been uncovered, and we are learning more every day. Keep checking here at the Psycho No Deal Zone, as we will bring you updates on this tale as soon as they become available.
- Kent Wicklander
ORANJESTAD, Aruba - Felix rapidly strengthened into a dangerous Category 5 hurricane and churned through the Caribbean Sea on a path toward Central America, where forecasters said it could make landfall as “potentially catastrophic” storm.
Felix was packing winds of up to 165 mph as it headed west, according to the U.S. National Hurricane Center. It was projected to skirt Honduras’ coastline on Tuesday before slamming into Belize on Wednesday.
“As it stands, we’re still thinking that it will be a potentially catastrophic system in the early portions of this week, Tuesday evening, possibly affecting Honduras and then toward the coast of Belize,” said Dave Roberts, a hurricane specialist at the center in Miami.
Thanks for the heads up my man, and I’m glad you took the time to inform us here at PNDZ of this important information. After all, we are, first and foremost, a weather news blog, clearly.
Thank you for sharing!
Sorry, but what is kimerikas?
Jane.
[…] The new documents have finally been deciphered, and I have updates on the famed Sheriff versus Astronaut story (part 1 of which can be read here: http://www.devastationstudios.com/blog/2007/08/07/sheriff-versus-astronaut-pt-1/ ) […]